just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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