I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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