what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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