You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
