She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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