i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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