I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Enjoy the penises
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
