Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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