Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
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