Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize