I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize