He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
