69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
