Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
