hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
