i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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