im gay
i know
yea but for you.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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