I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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