Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
