I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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