Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
