so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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