did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
