like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
