At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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