U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Randomize
