I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
