I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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