Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
