you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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