So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize