if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
