Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
