batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize
