I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
North Korea, Best Korea!
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
