he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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