I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I skipped work to stalk him.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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