A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Never underestimate the power of titties
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
