So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
