1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
