She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
