why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
