Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize