OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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