I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
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