I must be too annoying 4 u.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
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