You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
