This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
