john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
