You're completely useless in the revolution.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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