i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
