I swear she didn't look like that last week.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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