If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize