I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
