Swine flu. Run for my life!
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
