ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
