I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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