that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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