I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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