i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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