And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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