maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
