i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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